In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
You peed on a flamingo?!?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
