she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
