You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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