Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
