so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
