You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Randomize
