My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
