can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
So much rum. So many feels.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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