I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
