I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
My vagina is very pro this idea
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