drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
