i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
