Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
