I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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