I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
