She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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