Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
