I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
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Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
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just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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