Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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