i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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