u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
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