According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
