He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
