I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
