I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Randomize
