I got chris browned last night
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
