you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
