yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
