I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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