Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I bet he comes in French.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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