my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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