Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
tell me about the eggs
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