Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
So here I am, sexting at work.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
