Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
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