i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
