Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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