...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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