Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
