I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
