at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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