What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
