She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
