she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
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