Taylor Swift is so right about you.
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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