Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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