I want to make a zoo with you.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize