im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
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