Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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