I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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