Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
