so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
