wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Randomize
