Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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