): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
