she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
