dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
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Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
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Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
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