So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Oh god it's open bar.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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