try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
