But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.