Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
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i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals