he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I think people are normalizing furries