Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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