Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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