For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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