I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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