I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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