no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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