My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize